C2 < Three Lives >
Aside from the loud crash at the moment of the accident, nothing else was remembered.
Could this be how it feels to curl up in darkness for decades without a single ray of light? His eyes were completely covered by a blackout, and his body was immobile. Like a shrimp trapped in an invisible net, like a fetus in the womb. Jin-hyeok simply burrowed deeper into himself.
There were days when he sat curled up in the attic, recalling the family he could never meet. Ten years of his childhood spent numbing his emotions. It felt as though he had slept for an eternity beyond that time.
The memory of the crash that assaulted his eardrums, the sensations that drove him mad every day—did they all wear away helplessly before the sharp teeth of time?
Just when he was about to forget who he was, Jin-hyeok finally regained his senses.
The sharp sunlight scratched his cheek, and the cool wind made him shrink his neck.
At last.
He thought he was coming to his senses.
*
As his senses returned, memories began to slowly revive.
Rustle-rustle—lick-lick—.
What was that sound?
Something coarse and damp, soothing the heat of his sun-warmed cheek.
‘Could it be that Executive Director Hong is licking me now that I’m a vegetable?’
He knew she liked him, but to this extent······.
Human tongues could be so rough. Did she have a tongue sore?
Heh heh heh—.
What was that sound?
It seemed like a widow's heart would know, but it felt overly excited.
With great effort, he moved his eyelids and opened his eyes.
Slowly, light filtered in, filling his blurred vision.
Gradually, focus returned, and the first thing that caught his eye was:
‘What is this······?’
A moist, gleaming object with a dizzying curve that emitted a pungent smell.
And two holes piercing through that object.
‘This is······.’
Dog nostrils.
And.
The dog’s tongue that had licked him tirelessly, hoping for him to wake up.
As his vision cleared, he could recognize the dog’s identity.
It was the yellow dog from the photo he took out every day, with its tongue sticking out.
“Jang-gun?”
Woof-!
It sounded like a yes.
He had no choice but to be surprised by various things. When he saw Jang-gun, he had simply thought it was a reunion after death.
But.
‘Why is my body like this?’
Wasn’t his voice and body too young?
He examined his hands and body. They were tiny. His fingers were short and chubby, and his limbs were, to exaggerate a bit, about the same length as a dog.
He hurriedly unfolded a newspaper that was neatly folded on one side.
“Voting age 20, candidates by seat order, agreement on an eight-person meeting”
Why was he scribbling something so obvious······.
“Concerns about regional sentiment in the presidential election···66%. Joint poll with Korea Gallup”
“US launches retaliatory strikes against Iran. Two Persian Gulf offshore oil platforms hit.”
“1986 preliminary examination report. 13 upper committees opened in the National Assembly.”
1986 report?
Ah, I should check the date first.
“October 1987···”
A transcendent laughter escaped from the lips of a child.
“Huh huh huh.”
I really died.
Did Chairman Hong die too?
He hadn’t been able to look into what kind of accident it was while taking care of the old man.
It was absurd to think he could grasp the situation in that brief moment.
“Still, it’s nice to see you, Jang-gun.”
He was a friend who had always kept him company when he was lonely after his parents passed away. Jang-gun had lived with him until the year he turned ten when his mother’s step-sister took him away. He had clung to the pant legs of the people forcefully taking him away, but was kicked hard by the man who was his uncle, causing him to stagger. That was the last time Jang-gun was alive.
For several days, Jin-hyeok lived quietly in the attic before sneaking out at night. When he ran along the dark paths guided by his sense of direction for over 10km to reach home, he found Jang-gun lying dead under the dim moonlight. Unable to cry out loudly, he wept sorrowfully before burying him next to his parents' grave.
“You must have been in a lot of pain back then, our Jang-gun?”
Kkiing kkiing-.
That seemed to be the case.
He hugged Jang-gun tightly and shared the joy of their reunion.
How long had he rubbed his face against the dog?
“······Hyeok-a-.”
Decades.
No, in terms of sensation, it felt like many times that.
“Jin-hyeok-a-.”
The voice he had struggled to recall while hugging his knees in the dark attic of a café. There was only one person who called him so affectionately with such a beautiful voice.
The voice, filled with loving laughter, called out to Jin-hyeok once more.
“My baby-. If our Jin-hyeok stays in the autumn sunshine too long, he’ll turn into a blackie?”
Before he could even see the face peeking out from behind the gate, his eyes filled with tears. Therefore, he couldn’t see the owner of the voice properly.
Before the hot tears could spill out, his mother approached and warmly embraced Jin-hyeok.
Mom. Her gentle voice and tone, the soft touch of her hand brushing his cheek. It was a warm body temperature he hadn’t felt in a long time. Memories of the old days, when he was happy with the smell of smoke from the fire she used to cook dinner, blossomed anew.
“Why are you crying, my son? Did you have a scary dream?”
His cheeks held by his mother turned upwards. With a determination to see his mother, he squeezed his eyes shut to wipe away his tears. Finally, his vision cleared, revealing a white face.
‘Who is this lady······.’
She resembled the photos, but didn't she look too different in real life? Over thirty and past forty, the faces of his parents he had gotten used to seeing were now blurred. So it was not surprising that she felt unfamiliar.
Yet he could sense it through the pull of the soul.
“Mom?”
Is it really our Mom?
He couldn’t speak. He hated talking except for matters necessary for work, and often spoke only in his head. How could he still be like this even after dying?
“Yes. It’s Mom. Oh my- our baby, why are you crying?”
Han Yu-young gently stroked her son’s hair, comforting him until his sobs ceased.
All he could do was express his affection by rubbing his face against his mother’s chest.
‘So, I’ve met Mom and Jang-gun again after dying.’
Just by looking at how he had become younger and how unnatural his movements were, he thought it was evident that he had died. Yet, if this was death, what was there to regret?
He had finally met his mother.
After calming his heart, Jin-hyeok looked around.
The hometown house where he had lived as a child, the wide fields and rice paddies, the stream shining brilliantly under the sunlight, and the distant sea. Even the mountains painted in vibrant colors.
He nodded slowly.
‘Indeed, no one is visible.’
But······.
“What about Dad?”
Had he fallen alone into hell?
Everyone seemed fine······.
***
“Haha! Our son! You’re already nine years old, yet you cried from a scary dream?”
While having dinner, his dad laughed heartily. He said he had just returned from the fields where he was harvesting beans. Now that he thought about it, his dad had worked hard alone so that his mom wouldn’t have to do difficult tasks. Even in heaven, he must have been working hard; it must be tough for him.
His father, Son Kwang-yeon, was also in his mid-thirties. He was ten years younger than the Jin-hyeok of the past.
Jin-hyeok truly enjoyed the food his mother made after many decades. He hadn’t known that rice cooked in a cauldron could taste this good. Even with a gas stove, his mother insisted on cooking rice in a cauldron. She said it was healthier.
He hadn’t known. He hadn’t realized how fragrant the beans in the bean rice were, or how splendid a table filled with soybean paste stew, kimchi, vegetables, and pickles could be. He had never understood it.
As he hurriedly scooped rice, his parents smiled happily.
‘Mom, Dad. Dad, Mom.’
They looked young. Perhaps his parents were happiest when they lived with him. They must have waited a long time for him here. Heaven is created based on the happiest times.
But it was strange. They didn’t ask how he had been, or if he had gotten married, even after meeting their son after a long time. Perhaps they didn’t want to ask because they knew he had lived unhappily and alone. After all, they were not the kind of people who would want to make their child dwell on a life of misery.
It seemed better not to speak up before they asked.
As night fell, he rested his head on his mother’s arm and tried to sleep.
His mother gently caressed his cheeks, and a smile lingered on her lips. Looking at her sparkling eyes, he slowly closed his own.
‘Our mom was really beautiful.’
This was true heaven.
But they could have built a better house.
The shabby old house looked too real.
There were even spiders on the ceiling.
***
Is a dream a replay of memories, a reflection of the unconscious?
Or is it a premonition of the future? The dreams Jin-hyeok had were dark, like the future of a past life. He could hear buzzing sounds in the darkness, and a voice rang out quite clearly.
No matter how hard he tried to remember, even the memories before the accident were blurred. His heart ached as if his soul had shattered, and his eyes grew warm with tears. As he flailed his arms to grasp the memories that seemed just out of reach, his mother woke him.
“Crybaby-. Our Jin-hyeok, you have to eat breakfast and go to school, okay?”
Thankfully, his mother was still there.
But school? Did he have to go to school even in heaven?
Isn’t this rather hell?
He ran the roughly 3km distance with his short child’s legs. His rectangular cartoon character backpack, which covered half of his back, swung from side to side. Isn’t it strange? Even his backpack from that time had been restored.
He saw the adults working in the fields. So those folks had also passed away. He ran across the narrow and bumpy path through the rice paddies, continuing down the winding unpaved road until he finally arrived at school.
‘As expected, I’m the only one at school.’
He washed his hands and face at the faucet set up on the edge of the playground and took a calm breath.
‘Even after running like that, I’m not tired at all!’
Heaven is not heaven for nothing.
At that moment, he heard chirping sounds coming from the school gate.
They were children going to school.
‘Ah, my poor friends······.’
It seemed they were also happy at this time.
***
After spending a whole day, he finally acknowledged that he had returned not to heaven but to the past. His speech and actions were different from those of the other children. No matter how closely he observed the other kids, none had the adult self that he possessed. They were just kids.
And seeing that all his classmates were there, it would be unreasonable to say they had all died. The same went for the people in the fields. It was already a remote village where it was hard to see people. Besides, the autumn harvest was nearly over, so there probably weren’t many people in the fields.
‘The memories are becoming clearer little by little.’
The memories of his previous life, which had been distant, were also approaching. However, his small body and childish life were still issues he had to adapt to. In his previous life, Jin-hyeok had experienced a growth spurt in high school. But now, at nine years old, he was too small and frail. And he couldn’t even clearly remember what his childhood had been like in his previous life.
‘Though I want to forget those memories.’
The longing for his parents and the sorrow of being a burden. His childhood had been filled with fears of verbal and physical abuse. Yet, the memories he wanted to forget were often etched more vividly into his heart. Thus, it was hard to regard the fading as the sole reason he wanted to forget.
Decades. Perhaps the physical distance made it all the more believable that the memories were blurred.
‘I wish someone could tell me.’
By what harmony had he returned? However, no matter how hard he looked around, the surroundings grew darker, and there were no demons appearing, nor any voices to be heard.
***
“Hey, Jang-gun. Isn’t this a bit much?”
Heheheh-.
In the midst of his confusion, he found the yard and sat on the porch after school. There was no one to confide in, so he was glad to have Jang-gun around. In the voice of a child, Jin-hyeok began to vent his frustrations.
“You know, I was supposed to marry the chairman’s daughter and inherit the group, right? But then I had an accident.”
Since he was planning to retire, it wasn’t out of any lingering affection for marriage or power. Jin-hyeok was purely curious about what happened next. After all, isn’t it human nature to want to know the endings of stories, novels, or movies? Let alone when that ending concerns his own life.
A sigh escaped him involuntarily.
Following Jin-hyeok, Jang-gun let out a deep sigh too.
“Do you know about those web novels? They say that when you come back to the past, all your memories just rush back. Ugh, I can’t even remember yesterday, let alone everything rushing back······. Those web novel authors are all frauds and liars.”
Jin-hyeok spoke a lot only to Jang-gun, who stared at him and tilted his head repeatedly.
“Even the time I returned is weird; usually, it’s when I’m twenty or younger, but I’m nine······.”
That was as far as Jin-hyeok’s lament went.
‘Ah, right.’
He had returned to the time when his mom and dad were alive, so what’s really important?
His desperate wish to live with his parents had been granted.
But suddenly, Jin-hyeok’s face hardened.
‘How did they die?’
He couldn’t remember the dates he always kept in mind, nor the reasons for their deaths. It was as if everything had been painted over with black magic. Could it be that he had developed amnesia from the accident?
“This is driving me crazy. Argh, I don’t even have cigarettes.”
Whom could he confide this frustrating heart of his to?
As he rummaged through his pockets, he found nothing like cigarettes, just something that should belong to a nine-year-old.
Two acorns.
Sigh, he really had been an ordinary mischievous child back then. Jin-hyeok let out a breath.
“Let’s be blood brothers, Jang-gun.”
Clang.
One acorn fell into the dog bowl beneath the porch.
“One has to be given to mom.”
Jin-hyeok headed home to find his mother.
Behind him, Jang-gun barked madly.